Publisher’s Note: We’ve all heard the fabled story and we’ve seen the super-muscular images of the “Man of Steel”. The attributes of strength, success, motives, values, compassion and outcomes are set high beyond anything we could ever achieve. Yet, if you’re a dad, you’ve likely found the greatest role you’ll ever have.
Getting beyond the unrealistic super hero standards and helping men focus on family, faith and fitness, the online ministry of Dads of Steele brings together men for inspiration, encouragement and motivation. David Steele, like all men, has experienced challenges, tragedy and pain. God has helped him through it. His family, his faith in God and maintaining an active and fit lifestyle have all been important in his personal and spiritual growth. As he saw other men in need and recognized the important role of these three aspects of his life he saw the opportunity to help men be “Dads of Steele”.
As of Father’s Day 2018, his website offers a Featured Dad of the Week and daily posts to help encourage Dads. He has plans for a Dads of Steele challenge and to provide a grieving Dads monthly Skype call. Keep an eye on his website for ongoing ministry to men and watch for more from David in Faith & Fitness Magazine. Here is his story:
Listen to David Steele share his story while you workout, run, or cook your next healthy meal. This 30-minute podcast is presented in partnership with Divine Wellness Ministries. LISTEN NOW
The best day of my life was followed by the most tragic day of my life. How, in just twenty-four hours, can you go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows? We all have a choice when tragedy strikes, we can become bitter or we can become better. I made the choice to become better and I hope you do too.
BEST AND WORST DAY
On May 28th 2015 my wife, Colleen, step-daughter, Ellie, and I were blessed with a beautiful daughter and sister, Aubrey Violet. I remember a lot of emotions that day. As I felt so proud to be a Dad, I was also nervous. My goal was to be the best dad I could to Aubrey. I wanted to give my whole heart to my daughter as her dad.
And just twenty four hours later due to medical complications, the next morning on May 29th we had to say, “Goodbye” to Aubrey Violet. That was the toughest day of my life. I remember the doctor saying that her lungs and heart weren’t responding and we should value the time with her while we could. Our family was in shock, as Colleen, Ellie, and other close family members were in the room holding her and crying.
When we said our final “Goodbye” to Aubrey, I remember kissing her on the head and crying while saying, “I just wanted to be your Dad.”
LIFE WAS A BLUR
That was the worst day of my life. The next couple months were a blur. I told myself I needed to be strong for my wife. While trying to be strong for everyone else, I sunk into a depression and let myself go; eating at all times of the day, never working out, and sitting in my man cave with dark curtains watching a lot of TV shows and movies
I put on a positive and strong front when I was around others, but I was in a very negative and dark place when I was alone. In the fall of 2015, I was driving home from a job interview and heard the song “By Your Side” by Tenth Avenue North, a Christian band. Hearing that song made me think of Aubrey and I began to break down.
I remember driving with a lot of tears coming down my face. At some point in the middle of the song I started to feel a certain peace that Aubrey was in heaven and God was taking great care of her with her family up in heaven.
MY 5-28 INSPIRATION
After that song, I felt that Aubrey was in good hands and that she wanted her Dad to be healthy again. That night I went to the gym and I lifted weights and walked/ran for twenty-eight minutes. Twenty-eight for Aubrey’s Birthday. I remember looking at my calories burned and at that time I was just jogging and running at an average 5.5 pace and burning about 400 calories. Keeping Aubrey’s Birthday 5-28 in my head, I told myself next time I came to the gym I would burn 528 calories no matter how long it took.
Around this time, my wife and I were blessed to find out that we were having another baby girl. It was a rollercoaster of emotions to hear this news; excitement, fear, and so much uncertainty. We hoped that she would not face the same complications as her sister in heaven. The best way that I found to deal with my grief of losing Aubrey and my anxiety about the pregnancy was to go to the gym.
REGAINED HEALTH
Over the course of the pregnancy, I became dedicated to regaining my health in honor of my daughters. I became more conscious of my eating habits and looked for healthy alternatives to my junk foods. I try to make it to the gym four times a week.
I regularly burn 528 calories on the treadmill in honor of Aubrey and I do a combination of work-outs that usually consist of 5 sets totaling 28 reps. I was honored to be featured in Men’s Health magazine in an article titled “Tragedy Turned My Life Around,” that was dedicated to Aubrey.
On May 16, 2016, Madelyn Rose was born. She was healthy and we were so thankful. I continue to go to the gym regularly as a way to deal with grief, anxiety, and the everyday stresses of life. On the days when I don’t think of going, I remember what my daughter looked like when she was hooked up to all those machines and she was fighting for her life. This motivates me to get up and be a fighter too!
DADS OF STEELE
For the majority of my career, I have been working with young men and women that have behavioral and emotional conditions. I’ve worked in the school environment, group homes, treatment centers, and a detention center. Many kids expressed to me that if they would’ve had their mom and dad present or a positive male or female role model in their life, they wouldn’t be in the situation they were in. Through my pain and motivation to help others is why I decided to start Dads of Steele.
Through Dads of Steele, I hope to encourage and motivate other dads who may have lost someone or lost track of who they are in the busyness and demands of life. I believe that we can create a community that will inspire and motivate each of us to become the best version of ourselves for our families. Dads of Steele was created with the core principles of faith, family and fitness in mind.
FAMILY
We recognize that family has a lot of meanings. I have a blended family. Some dads are single parents. There are many challenges in being a dad, but having one of these titles-Dad or Step-Dad is an honor. Even those of us who have lost children are still dads to our children in heaven. We are here to help you through the joys and struggles of family life-struggles with parenting, marriage, and how to balance everything. Being a parent is one of the toughest, but most rewarding jobs you can have. None of us knows how to do it perfectly, but together we can become better as we share and learn from each other.
FAITH
I grew up going to church, but didn’t really find my faith until I was in college. My faith in God has carried me through the most difficult times in my life. With losing my daughter, Aubrey, I had to stay strong in my faith and I often reminded myself of this quote from Rocky Balboa, “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
FITNESS
Fitness became a form of therapy for me after losing my daughter. In the gym or running, I was able to release any negative energy or thoughts about Aubrey, God, or everyday life. Dads of Steele supports all types of exercise and healthy eating to help you in your physical and emotional state of mind. Getting back into the gym or exercising is not easy. It helps to have a song or a picture to motivate you. We want to encourage you to take that first step back into a healthier lifestyle and start becoming the best version of yourself for your family.
I would like to invite you to be a part of this community of Dads of Steele that will inspire and motivate each of us to become the best version of ourselves for our families.
