Lead By Example

The saying goes, “everything is bigger in Texas”. This is true in the Houston area where we have some of the best Southwest grills in the nation. People eat bigger here so as you might imagine obesity is bigger here too.

But I believe there is something bigger yet — God’s ability to help people overcome their biggest challenges. That can happen when Christians respond faithfully to His calling to lead by example.

TO LEAD BY EXAMPLE YOU MUST FIRST FOLLOW CHRIST

I’m an accountant, boot camp instructor, online training/diet coach, husband and father of two. When we list our accomplishments there is a risk in becoming proud and boastful. I’ve learned that only through God can I truly make lasting accomplishments in life. Apart from Him, anything I do is a vain achievement.

To do all of these well, I’ve also learned it’s important to find and make time for fitness and faith in my schedule. Doing that requires discipline to be organized. I want to be organized not just so that I can manage my responsibilities, time and personal interests well but because I want to set an example for my family so they too can reap the benefits of managing life within God’s order. It’s important to me to be the husband and father that God has called me to be. The Bible states, “husbands are to manage their children and their own households well.” I choose to manage my household by leading by example. In my house my children see me loving my wife, praying to God, attending church, leading people in fitness, exercising and living a healthy lifestyle – certainly accomplishments that can only be achieved with God.

AM I A LEADER?

Some people are natural leaders and others tend to be followers. However, beyond our tendencies I believe God desires for all of us to experience the demands and joys of being a leader. It is one way we grow in Him. To “lead by example” I believe is the most effective leadership model. In fact I believe it reflects the very nature of God. Our careers, our activities, our accomplishments are all second. Our first vocation is to be a Christ follower.

Leading by example often starts in the family. For me, leading my family in four areas: exercise, diet, faith and service have helped all of us to grow stronger and discover a deeper relationship with God. You too can lead in these four areas and help those close to you to grow physically and spiritually.

A child always likes to eat what the parents eat. Research shows that what a woman eats during pregnancy not only nourishes her baby in the womb, but may shape food preferences later in life. Babies come out of the womb wanting to taste what the mother has been eating during pregnancy. We quickly introduce baby foods for a couple of months and then we start giving the baby either french fries or fresh raw veggies. Taste buds start changing due to the mother “dieting by example.” Our children eat what we eat, either healthy or not, and quickly it turns into a routine with them.

Being raised in a Hispanic household, I was often given one protein and about three kinds of carbohydrates at night. My parents didn’t know better because that is how they were raised. Soon, I was thirteen and overweight. As a child you don’t really think about why you are overweight nor do you realize that it’s the food you are putting in your mouth. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned what I needed to do to get the weight off and keep it off. As a parent, it is now my responsibility to teach my kids what healthy eating is and what they should and shouldn’t eat and how it will affect them. My wife and I lead by example. Our children eat what we eat. It is a natural process because it’s a child’s nature to mirror you in the first place.

More than one third of Americans are obese. If you want to avoid being part of those statistics then as a family you need to be regularly aware of what you are eating. Since kids like to mirror their parents, my kids always want to grab what is on my plate. They see daddy drinking water, so they want to walk around with water. When I eat tilapia, my son wants tilapia. When I eat lean steak, my daughter wants lean steak. It isn’t always “just that easy” especially since less-than-healthy choices are so frequently promoted, easily available, within budget and made to be enticing. Following God and eating right requires some conscious effort. When you do that, children and those around you will learn by your example how to enjoy making thoughtful choices.

When it is a lifestyle and it’s all you have in the house, there aren’t any other options for them to consider. A Bible passage puts it this way, “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do ALL to the glory of God.” So we need to be conscious of this and ask ourselves if what we are about to eat and indulge in is for the greater glory of God or is it the two-second satisfaction for our lips.

My Hispanic background points to an important consideration – ethnic culture is a big influence that shapes eating habits. Many ethnic foods can in fact be very healthy often high in fiber, nutrient-rich, organic and making use of fresh foods. But obesity, diabetes and other health concerns are high among some ethnic populations. There are increasingly a greater number of programs that address the health and nutritional needs and interests of specific ethnic groups. For example Por Tu Familia is an initiative of the American Diabetes Association specifically for Latinos that includes events like Diabetes Day specifically identified for churches to reach communities. Consider how you can lead by example and support those in your community who share your ethnic background.

Research shows that children who exercise or are physically active on a regular basis are more likely to remain active into their teenage years. Further, children in America today are less likely to walk to school or do household chores than those of previous generations. They play video games, use computers and watch TV. To buck this trend in our home we don’t watch the television much. We’re a close-knit family in the same room together playing, talking or coloring. If I’m in front of the television all evening, then my kids want to do the same. Instead, we take it outside or to the gym.

Fitness should be a family activity. As my interest in strength training grew I asked my children to give me just one hour per day to go to the gym. If I’d left it at that, “Give me MY time at the gym”, fitness would be my selfish indulgence instead of our shared time to grow as a family.

My son likes going so much that he will beg me to go to the gym even when it is my off day. I also teach a boot camp and my daughter has been deemed the title of the mascot. I will be in the kitchen cooking and she will literally grab my iPad, go into the living room and play an ab video and start doing abs or she will just bust out in mountain climbers in the middle of the kitchen. It is pretty awesome to not even have to teach that to my kids. They naturally do it by watching us.

Two scriptures reach out to me when thinking about being an example in exercising. The first one says, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” I see too many Christians abuse their bodies. They daily assume that God gives them a license to do whatever they want to their body while here on earth because when they get to heaven they will get a new one. That is NOT what this scripture says. God paid a price for us through the gracious and sacrificial life of his Son, Jesus. Taking care of our bodies is our daily recognition of this act. It is an expression of our respect for him and a visual celebration of God’s mercy to others. Exercise by example helps my children learn this important perspective.

There is a second Bible scripture I like so much that I had it incorporated into a fitness shirt design for my E-FIT athletes. It says, “let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” As they are training they can look to this encouragement from God when they get tired or weak and need a boost. They can look to this and be reminded that God is with them. For each of us, we can do all things through Christ. Exercise by example. Push through the challenges and finish the race.

A faithful father prioritizes his physical presence, is engaged emotionally and leads spiritually by example. Being a faithful parent is a journey that begins wherever you are, and continues with a commitment to grow daily in your role as a man, husband and father or a woman, wife and mother. Being a parent of young children I’m already thinking about their future and how I can groom them to be the man and woman God envisions. I pray God tailors their life through His words in the Bible.

God challenges me to constantly assess my life and consider what I’m doing to help my children build solid and enduring values. For example, do I show them how to be a faithful spouse? One of the most important responsibilities you have to a child is to demonstrate faithfulness to God in every aspect of life. We need to not just live a good, healthy and successful life but BE LIFE to them. We’re each responsible to God for our thoughts, feelings, relationships and actions.

How do you serve God? Start by serving your family. One simple way that I demonstrate service to God for my family is through the act of giving tithes and offerings. Through this we engage in one of the most basic ways to serve others. We know that our blessings come from God, so we live by example and give of our finances before we spend, save or invest.

Another way to serve by example is by using your talents. Everyone should identify his or her talents then identify ways those talents can be used in service to God. For me, I started competing and getting involved in the fitness industry a couple of years ago. Once I started learning about nutrition, I realized that most people lacked the knowledge of how to lose weight the correct way so I wanted to help others. I am not talking about fad diets, I am talking about eating the right foods. Soon I was certified in sports nutrition and became a boot camp instructor. I obtained my personal training certificate while training for Equinox fitness clubs in New York, and also wanted to specialize in group-training. All of this comes together in my online training and nutrition consulting, E-FIT where I get to serve others. This is what God has called me to do. I have on the average 50 active monthly clients and about 40 people attend my boot camp.

The good things in our lives have more and greater value when we use them to serve others. Don’t just talk about the virtues of service — do it. In today’s world we need more people daily setting examples of how we can serve God by serving each other.

LET US LIVE BY EXAMPLE

A child’s life is greatly influenced by the actions of parents. If you set expectations of them (like limiting sodas) but then indulge yourself (like eating junk food) you send a mixed message. It can be difficult to be a good example to children. They live with you and often have access to the very personal aspects of your life. But – it is a parent’s job to prayerfully try. They are watching and listening to everything you do. They are learning by example and will define the way life is supposed to be lived by experiencing their life through your vision. Others around you will to some extent do that too.

To live by example draw on two Bible verses for guidance and encouragement. One says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Living by example can’t be an act. It isn’t you putting on a show for your children, your spouse or others. It is you living your life in regular submission to God – being aware and committed to ‘the way YOU should go’. Then you can be confident that your example will be empowered by God.

The other Bible verse says, “Give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, they will pour into your lap. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.” Living by example is something you do for the rest of your life. Don’t just do it occasionally or with some token effort. Do it often and with ‘good measure’. When you set the example and lead through exercise, diet, faith and service you’ll see a good return. I’ve seen it in my children and in my E-FIT clients.

Living a healthy lifestyle is much more than eating right and exercising for your own happiness. It is about showing care and compassion and helping others achieve their goals. In all areas – exercise, diet, faith and service keep yourself in good condition then you can live by example.