For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)
It’s my birthday month. I was born in 1972. (I’ll let you do the math!) Let’s just say I’ve survived not only the big 4-0 but the big 5-0, too! Life didn’t stop on either of those big days. In fact, it wasn’t until I turned 40 that much of my life started making sense.
I want to take some time today to reflect a little because, let’s face it, aren’t you supposed to reflect a bit as you get older? I imagine teenagers don’t reflect much. They’re busy planning their futures. But when you start hitting those “middle age” ages, you start to reflect. (Or, you probably should, anyway.)
Without going into my entire history, let’s just say that when I was growing up I struggled a lot with feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, loneliness, etc. I thought I was fat and that nobody would ever love me. Fast forward through years of struggle and tears, a failed marriage, and too many diets to count, I read Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. I read this book when I was about to turn 40. In one section, she referred to Moses and how God told him, “You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north.”
Lightbulb moment! Moses and the Israelites had wandered 40 years in the desert. I had been wandering for 40 years among diets, gimmicks, and quick fixes. I failed to be comfortable in the body I was in and had yet to fully accept the love of the Savior I had received when I was a nine-year-old girl. It was time for me to be set free!
So now, a dozen years later, how am I doing? We know that diets work until they don’t. Eventually they fail. That’s why people spend their time “going back on” said plan. But when you truly find freedom in Christ and follow His plan, there’s no going back. So, did I turn north? Did I really leave behind diets, gimmicks, and quick fixes? If so, did it work? What changed?
I can answer with total honesty and conviction that yes indeed I turned north. It really was a turning point and a wake-up call. Do I get it right all the time? No. But I’m still going in the new direction God pointed me. He has given me some clarity about those 40 years. I was learning a lot during that time, but I didn’t know it. I now see how He can turn something that was such a struggle and a seemingly negative situation into something that He can use.
A few years after my breakthrough, I stepped into this online space and began to share how I came to know freedom in this area of health and fitness. Because that is the key. It’s freedom. I was in bondage so much of my life. Bondage to a reflection in the mirror. Bound to a number on a scale. Bondage to everything I thought beautiful and lovely was supposed to be and supposed to look like. I spent years seeking freedom. I knew there had to be a better way.
And so finally, I turned north. And in that direction, there was freedom. I began to understand that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I fully accepted the love my Savior had for me. The same God I had given my life to at nine years old, I finally let Him take over this area of my life. Sure, I had prayed and cried to Him over and over again, but I still held onto that one area of my life…until I finally let go.
What have I learned?
I can live fit and free. You can live fit and free. Fitness isn’t defined by a number on the scale nor is it found in a bottle of diet pills or a program. It’s not a certain image we have in our heads or see on a magazine cover. Fitness is you honoring your unique body by caring for it like a temple.
Christ died so that you and I may live in freedom. Any day spent in bondage to anything is not His plan or His will for our lives. He’s ready to set you free.
I am loved. You are loved. When he was a baby, I started saying to my now 21-year-old son every night, “Mommy loves you, and Jesus loves you.” I want him to know he is loved. Now I know, I am loved. You are loved too. Do you know that?
I am a gift. You are a gift. We have been given something unique to share with the world around us. It may be a gift to share in our small world, or He might give us a big stage. No matter where you are today, you have something to give. Do you see it? Are you free to give it? Or, are you being distracted by the pursuit of weight loss? Satan wants nothing more than to keep you bound up in yourself and your feelings of inadequacies. Are you going to stay there, or will you follow Jesus into your promised land?
Action Step
Are you ready to live fit and free? It’s never too late in life to change course. Come over to my Facebook Community where other women just like you are learning to live fit and free!
