I talk a lot about embracing a sensitive mindset towards health and fitness goals- staying mindful of our physical and emotional “needs state” in any given time vs. having an inflexible attitude and enforcing hard and fast “rules”on ourselves that don’t allow for self-compassion. The very first week of the new year, I had the unfortunate opportunity to really practice what I preach when my beloved cat, Ming Mong passed away. He was old but it was quite unexpected and I was certainly not prepared for the wave of despair the next several days brought me.
Four straight days of sleepless nights, anxiety attacks, and wanting to just curl up and drown myself in a giant bowl of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Really.
This caused me to have to dig deep in maintaining my perspective with my fitness goals, including how I would approach my workouts and how I would choose to nourish myself. I have learned over the years, that when it comes to stress, your body doesn't differentiate the source, whether it’s from grief or illness or physical demands like dieting or intense training. Honestly, I wasn’t planning to launch the typical all out “body assault” program in honor of the new year. But I WAS quite determined on a more regimented nutrition and advanced workout routine I felt ready for. And then…. life happened. Holistically speaking, life’s hardship’s know no boundaries.
What effects your heart and mind will also have an impact on your body. This is something that the Lord has taken his time to teach me. And with this loss, he gently reminded me that there will always be time to apply his lessons.
I could either drag my overwhelmed body and grieving spirit in the gym and remain “fixed” to the plan OR I could choose to honor myself ( my temple) and scale back the intensity because my body wouldn’t take kindly to the extra stress. I could allow my emotions to control my reactions and fill the void with Ben and Jerry or I could give my emptiness to the Lord and ask him to fill my heart with the comforting food of His promises.
Of course, going back to my former days of the overly regimented fitness model mindset, I could have also decided that this was a great time to deprive myself, since I had learned that locking myself into "diet-mode" seemingly brought me an, albeit, very false sense of being IN control when most other things in my life left me feeling completely OUT of control. But over the years, I have learned the hard lessons regarding the false sense of assurance that kind of behavior brings. I have learned that to receive the Lord’s peaceful rest in my heart, I must change my grasping, controlling stance to one of openness, calm and trust.
Sometimes we truly need to understand that the only thing we can “grasp” without damaging our soul and our long-term wellbeing is God’s hand.
He can help lift us back into a state of balance when we fall of the wagon into a pit of worry and despair and Lord knows, even a tragically overindulgent bowl of Ben and Jerry’s.
That week, I chose to practice what I preach. I chose active rest and compassionate movement for my body and for my soul. It was challenging, as it wasn’t in “my plan.” Yet apparently, it was in His. I was rewarded with an empowering sense of soulful refreshment. Knowing I can actually advance my fitness goals by practicing self-care is the most empowering kind of fitness.
