Colossians 3:14 – Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.
It can be difficult to attempt to lose weight and get in shape when you have a spouse that’s not on the same page and often times it’s not just a different page, you may feel like they are in a completely different book! You tell them your concerns, you ask them if they’d like to get healthy with you, you ask if they want to try a salad, go for a walk, but there they sit in front of the TV eating a slice of pizza or a bag of chips and without even looking at you and they politely say, “No thank you” to your healthy eating, walking and exercise plans.
When your spouse has a different mindset about what to eat and non existent ideas about exercise – believe me, this can be VERY frustrating! I remember talking to a friend of mine a few years ago. She is a certified nutritionist and personal trainer and she was feeling the weighty burden of a spouse that would not participate in her healthy lifestyle. Not only was he unwilling, but he seemingly was trying to derail and sabotage her attempts to educate her son on the importance of healthy eating. She struggled with the fact that she was attempting to live in moderation and her husband weighed close to 400 pounds.
It can be frustrating, agitating and can even cause you to have anger if your spouse is unwilling. So, what’s the answer? Here are some of my recommendations:
Pray
Sometimes your spouse may have fears, negative thoughts, or preconceived notions about what you are expecting from them. The enemy may have lied and told them they would never be able to be healthy and lose weight. They might be thinking that you are going to put them on an unrealistic cabbage soup diet and that may literally be too much for them to swallow.
Set the Example and Start Slowly
Let’s just say you did make that cabbage soup and served it with enthusiasm, how many of your family members would enjoy that meal and ask you to make it again? Not very many, right? So start with little changes. For example, serve a salad with a dinner menu your family is used to, disguise veggies by chopping or mashing them and stirring them into spaghetti sauce or lasagna. You can look for healthier recipes and make your family’s favorites with a few changes.
Don’t Judge
You can easily get caught up in rolling your eyes when your wife walks in with her bag of M&M’s. You can be tempted to say you your husband, “Really, did you just order double meat and double cheese on that burger!?” Your body language, actions and words can set up barriers to your spouse moving forward towards a healthier lifestyle.
Romans 14:3 says it like this, “The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them.”
Recognize and Affirm Small Changes
Your spouse may not want to put it all out there that he/she is making an attempt to make adjustments to their diet. If you see them making an effort, praise them. Let them know that your proud of them for drinking water or eating their vegetables. A little encouragement goes a long way!
As for you, I know it can be a struggle when you feel like your healthy efforts are not important to your spouse. But you must remember that God has asked you to take care of your temple and you will find peace in your obedience. It can be hard to stay on track if your spouse or other members of your family bring food items in the house that were your former addiction. Be willing to share your heart with them openly and honestly. They may not even realize what a distraction those items are to you. Pray this prayer below with me:
Dear Father, Today help me not to judge my spouse or family members. I pray blessings on their health and I ask you to impress on them the importance of taking care of their body. Please empower me to come up with ideas that will be an encouragement to my spouse instead of judging them by finding fault with what they are eating or their lack of physical activity. Help me to stay on track in the face of adversity, help me to say no to my old addictions even when they are in the hands of my loved one. In Jesus name, Amen
