It’s easy to get caught in the trap of giving your kids too many material things. You fool yourself into thinking that it’s alright because you’re doing it under the guise of giving them the best life that you can. You’re not setting your kids up for success by providing them with endless amounts of stuff.
SHOW YOUR KIDS WHAT’S REALLY IMPORTANT
The bible talks about training up your children in the way they should go so that when they become parents someday they can teach the same things to their children. What would you rather have for your children and grandchildren, a life where happiness is defined by the closeness of the relationships around them or the “stuff” that they accumulate? The answer to most is obvious, but the way you live doesn’t always reflect that.
Dads need to lead the way and start teaching their kids what’s truly important. It’s incumbent upon us, as dads, to follow the path that God laid out and show our children that true joy comes from the closeness of the relationships in their life and not from the amount of stuff that they have.
THINKING INSIDE THE BOX
I have 4 children, three toddlers and a newborn, and they’re all under 5. It was only recently that I started to realize, appreciate and apply to my life that giving them more toys, books and dress-up clothes isn’t something that brings them more joy. Let me explain, One night as I was driving home I found myself racking my mind trying to think of something fun and exciting to do with my kids.
- What game could I invent?
- What toy could we play with?
- Maybe we could dress up and “go on an adventure”
Then after dinner cleanup, it was playtime. I was still working through ideas I could try out when I saw my kids all piled in an empty box in the kitchen. We played in that box for the rest of the evening and they loved it. I pushed them around and closed the box flaps on them (per their request). They thought it’d be fun to do the same to me. I realized that what my kids really need isn’t a new adventure, new toys, or well-thought-out games. All they really need is me. As long as I’m fully present and engaged with them they can be happy doing almost anything.
GIVE YOUR KIDS MEMORIES NOT STUFF
Experiencing this moment encouraged me to examine my heart and what’s truly important. Jesus tells us that the condition of our hearts will be obvious, and can be discovered simply by looking at the things we treasure in our life. It’s easy to say that we don’t value material things, but it’s another to actually live that out. Here are some strategies to help make the shift.
- Be intentional about spending time in reflection and prayer. Allow God to realign your heart.
- Find a mentor. Allow other godly people you trust to offer wisdom, guidance and encouragement.
- Journal. Sometimes the act of journaling can be a great place to interact with God. Jot down some notes on where you feel He is leading you.
Being fully present is one of the pillars for leaving behind a powerful legacy for your kids. Click here to check out the rest. It doesn’t matter what age they are. All they really need is time with you. In order to be fully present, you’ll need to put down your phone, turn off the tv and engage. That’ll get you started. Let God show you how you can build on these essential first steps and experience lasting memories and connection with your kids. Here’s a few fun ideas to try.
- Chase them.
- Play monster.
- Go for a walk.
- Have a conversation.
You can even invite them into helping with the things on your to-do list. Let them cook dinner with you. Create a space for them to help you wash the dishes. Show them how to do the laundry. Maybe even give them a role in assisting in your next remodeling project around the house. All they want is your time.
Kids spell love T-I-M-E. It doesn’t have to be an exorbitant amount of your day. What matters the most is the quality of the time that you’re spending with them. It may only be 15 minutes, but if you’re fully present and engaged your kids will notice and remember that time.
If you’re caught in the same “material” trap that I was, I’d encourage you to examine your heart to see what’s truly important to you. I would challenge you to limit the amount of material things you allow in your children’s lives. Teaching them that true joy comes from the closeness of our relationships stands to set them on a much better path to success in their relationship with God, friends, and family.
HOW YOU CAN TAKE ACTION RIGHT NOW
- Be prayerful about what material items you might be able to cut out of your own life. Set the example for your kids to follow.
- Commit daily to investing in real quality time with your children. Set aside at least 20 minutes to be fully present with them.
- Think about encouraging your kids to prayerfully consider what toys/games they may be able to donate to a worthy cause or a child in need. Remind them of how you’ve done this in your own life.
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