I once saw a T-shirt that said: “Let’s go somewhere and judge people”. It cracked me up at first, but when you really think about it, it’s what we do. Actually, we do it A LOT. We do it every day. We judge people. We know we’re not supposed to judge people, but we do. The Bible is very clear about this:
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” -Matthew 7:1-5
We judge people AND we get judged by people. It happens EVERY day. It happens with EVERYONE. We judge and are judged about EVERYTHING. We’re judged by what car we drive, where we went to school, our past, the house we live in, our job, skin color, country we live in, whether we’re fat…or skinny, the clothes we wear, church denomination, how many kids we have…or don’t have, if we home-school, if we give our kids a flu shot…flu mist…or nothing at all, eat meat…or don’t eat meat, have tattoos…no tattoos, by what language we speak, how many friends we have on Facebook and Instagram, what sports our children play…or don’t play, how many followers we have on Twitter, what kind of cellphone we have, whether our kids sleep in their own beds, if we smoke…don’t smoke, if we drink…or don’t drink, whether we workout…or don’t workout, whether we pick our kid up from school…or make them ride the bus – you’re even judged by the things you have in your stinking grocery cart. We’re judged…judged…judged…and let’s be honest…we judge, judge, judge. I believe how we judge or how we are judged – depends on what values we or the people judging us have. When we judge, we’re showing a pretty clear picture of our own personal views. This presents a HUUUGGGGEEEE problem right? Think about the wide range of thinking and plethora of viewpoints out there when you take into account the different values of all the different people in this world. And Christians often add to the problem when we rationalize away our own shortcomings and blindly participate in a double standard that is a glowing example of behavior that is far from being Christlike. We KNOW the truth, but we don’t know how to communicate the truth. Then all of the sudden our greatest gift for good becomes our deadliest weapon to wound – through judgment and condemnation. So how do we solve this problem?
A few years ago, I had the honor of being a judge in the Carolina Supernatural Bodybuilding Championships in Spartanburg, SC. It was a great experience being able to give back to the sport of Bodybuilding with a wonderful group of top-notch people. Having competed for over 19 years, it was not hard to know what to look for while judging each competitor. It was not hard to be fair and score each competitor correctly, yet I still felt an uneasiness in my heart that I couldn’t explain. I felt a heaviness even though the way we judge is cut and dry. We score each competitor on Muscular Size, Definition/Conditioning, Proportion and Symmetry. I began to think – If only life was like a bodybuilding contest where there are clear guidelines for judging, that would sure make life easier. Then it hit me – there is an answer to our “judging problem”. There IS clear criteria for how we are to communicate with people. Whether we are holding loved ones accountable, correcting wrongs or trying to be a light to all the different people we encounter daily. The answer came to me as I tried to define my feelings as a bodybuilding judge. The uneasiness I felt while judging the bodybuilding contest was caused by the answer…Love. I looked at these competitors and I loved every one of them. I loved that they had gone through everything I cherish in my sport. I didn’t know everyone’s story, but I knew through my own experiences the struggles, adversity and obstacles that these competitors had fought through to get to the very moment they stood in front of our judges table. That love made it tough having to NOT place some of them. I wanted them to realize they shouldn’t give up. That they should keep believing and keep working hard. I loved them and wanted them to realize the placings have nothing to do with their value as a person. Love is the clear guideline or criterion for how we can assess any situation or any person. LOVE made it very very hard to judge. The answer is LOVE. I’m not trying to be all mushy, but think about it…Love crosses every society…religion…race…age…gender. If judging is making a value based assessment, then I’m telling you to always start with the value of loving one another. What do I mean? See life and people through a lens of love. What does seeing through a lens of love look like? Here are a few examples:
I once read a story about a classroom full of kids having to write about and present to their classmates the definition of love. There were your basic answers…about hugging…sharing…kissing…and then one girl got up and said “Love is about toenails.” The class started laughing. The teacher quieted the class and asked the little girl to continue. “Love is about toenails. I think love is when my Grandfather paints my Grandmother’s toenails because she’s in too much pain to do it herself….even though his own back hurts him terribly.” Another example is a story one of my clients told me about her Grandpa. She told me her Grandpa used to open every cabinet door in the kitchen at night before he went to bed. He did this so that when he got up in the morning and went through his routine, the little metal latches on the cabinet doors wouldn’t clank and awaken his sleeping wife. That’s the kind of love I’m talking about…a genuine and deep love. Perhaps the greatest example I can give you though… is God’s love for you. The love and grace we are given by God is the perfect example. He loved us SO much that He sent His son to die for your sins and for my sins.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
– John 3:16
I don’t know about you, but when I really soak in this scripture, it stops judgment in it’s tracks! Becoming overwhelmed and grateful for God’s grace helps us to extend grace to others. Understanding the weight and price of His forgiveness helps us to forgive. Embracing His love for us even though we have a log in our own eye helps us to pray for, serve and love others in a way that says we’re all in this together. We’re all broken but Jesus is the answer for our brokenness. How do we correct the judgment problem? Love people…have patience with people…forgive people…be gracious with people…the way God does all of that for us. Remember this my friends: Judgment comes from a place of self-centeredness. Love is the opposite. Now go open all the cabinet doors. Extend grace. And go paint some toenails:)
God Bless!
