People say the hardest part of going to the gym is…going to the gym. I suppose there are many reasons this could be the case, but one I have struggled to understand as a strength coach is people telling me they need to get in shape before they start training…to get in shape. “I need about a month to get more fit before I start training with you Anthony. Give me a few weeks to get stronger and I’ll be ready.” I was asking a strength coach friend of mine about this and he told me he often hears the same thing from potential clients. I asked him, “Isn’t saying you need to get in shape before you start to train like saying you are going to cut your bangs before you go get a haircut?” He answered, “People have forgotten the process. They think they need to show up performing and looking a certain way before actually starting what works in the first place. They think about the outcome and not the progress.” I recently came to the realization that somewhere along the way progress truly has been replaced with perfection in our world. If you don’t believe me, take a look at social media. I was on Facebook not too long ago when I read a friend’s post:
“Has anyone ever felt like a total loser when looking at other people’s lives and pictures on here besides me?” Why would my friend ask this question? I saw a quote that may help explain: “WELCOME to Facebook, the place where RELATIONSHIPS are perfect, LIARS believe they are telling the truth, and the WORLD shows off they are living a great life: where your FRIENDS & FAMILY block you: and even though you write what you’re really thinking, someone takes it the wrong way!!!” That is funny, but somewhat true. Think about it. What are we flooded with on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and Twitter? We constantly see pictures of beautiful houses, gardens, cars, pools, scenic views, vacations, bathrooms, pets, birthdays, weddings, jobs, children, food, workouts and of course, the perfect physique. #BLESSED. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t find fault with people who post these things, but I do feel like it has caused us to see and desire the outcome WITHOUT seeing or working on progress. The struggle, pain, level of dysfunction and hard work rarely gets shown. With this in mind, I am beginning to understand why people feel the need to somehow get in shape before they go to the gym…to get in shape.
More importantly, I also understand why people believe they need to “clean up” before going to church. Ask ten people to come to church and I guarantee at least six will say, “I don’t belong there. I have to get a lot of things straight before I can go to church.” The other four will probably say, “I know people in your church and they’re all hypocrites.” Both of those answers are telling of what we have done to ourselves as Christians. We as Christians have become masters of replacing progress with perfection. We cover up, pretend and disguise. We are less likely to post pictures of tears, tantrums or pain. We don’t usually write about hectic school mornings, struggles with business or finances. We don’t often share troubles about not understanding reading and math. We don’t share how our heart is squeezed and cracked with each confused call from a mother or father suffering from dementia. We don’t put up too many posts about broken down cars and struggles with paying bills. We don’t speak of the bottomless hole in our soul after losing a child. We don’t tell of our fears, anxiety, depression or addiction. We don’t talk about learning disabilities, bullying or depression. We don’t talk about how we need Jesus just as much today as we did when He pulled our half-dead body off the floor so many years ago. We don’t share our own doubts we have about faith and God because He wasn’t there when we thought we needed Him most. Ask us how we’re doing in the church hallway…#BLESSED right? What in the world happened to us? Here is my theory:
Remember the story in the Bible when Jacob wrestles with God (Genesis 32:22-31)? The wrestling match went on until day break and then God touched Jacob’s hip and it became “wrenched”. Jacob came out of the experience with a new name and a limp. The Bible is very clear to make sure we know Jacob has a limp. Jacob’s limp is evidence of and memorializes his experience with God for everyone to see for the rest of his life. And so, if you are like me, you were taught by pastors, preachers and Sunday school teachers that just like Jacob with his new limp, we are to walk differently after we encounter God right? Sounds right, and we do probably feel different, but I think…I think…we hide our limp. And it is exhausting. I think churches have become full of 6 week programs, 8 week plans and 30 day challenges to help us heal, but if we come out still broken AFTER the program, it’s our fault for not “giving it our all”. I fear pastors, leaders and teachers do not understand when they call for repentance without showing their own limp, they make it seem easy. It is not inspiring. It is intimidating and discouraging. I fear small group meeting rooms of Christians who discuss and rejoice overcoming a hard time 20 years ago, but then go silent and even scramble when a new person shares a struggle he had only yesterday. What is wrong with him – sharing that stuff? No. What is wrong with us? We have confused “walking differently” (which really means progress) with walking perfectly. We are called to be different as Christ followers, but somehow, different became being morally perfect and well…#BLESSED. Jesus taught the exact opposite. In the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5), Jesus talked about the Beatitudes, fulfillment of the law, salt and light, murder, adultery, divorce, oaths, eye for an eye and love for enemies. That sermon has been taught for so many years by so many Christians in a way to set standards for each other which has only led to judgment and condemnation by our very own brothers and sisters. Do you remember how that sermon ended? Jesus did teach all those things and then He said, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Jesus summed up the law itself and then raised those standards! What!? How? As a matter of fact, the standards are impossible to meet! The people on that hill when Jesus gave them this sermon were just like you and me. They had struggles, pain, worry and fear. Jesus was telling them just like He is telling us – you can’t do it. YOU cannot be perfect…BUT…the wonderful truth of the Gospel is that Christ met this standard on our behalf!
“I will hold myself to a standard of grace, NOT perfection.”
This my friends is how we are different. This is how we stand out. We don’t stand out by pretending we are living each day upholding IMPOSSIBLE standards. We cannot share Jesus with people by pretending we have it all together. Doing so teaches the EXACT OPPOSITE. It teaches people we don’t need God. One of my friends told me a man asked him one time if he ever let his daughter see him fail or see his mistakes. He told me he answered, “No way. Why in the world would I do that?” The man answered, “So you’re trying to hide God from her. You don’t want her to see God?” Wow. How many times have we failed to expose God’s amazing grace because we’ve tried to make people believe we have it all together? How many times have we failed to let God’s light shine because we think our limp needs to stay hidden? If we as Christians want to help people, it starts with loving people where they are because Christ loved us when we were there ourselves. It’s about not hiding what you’re going through or where you’ve been. Do you want to help people? Do you want to know who you’re supposed to help? Go to other broken people. Go ESPECIALLY to those people broken in all the same places you were or are broken. If we can truly make people understand we are JUST LIKE them, they’ll have hope when we tell them how we walk differently because of Jesus. Be so genuine they say, “Wow…God loves you? He forgave you? If that’s the case, I feel like I may want to talk to this Jesus.” There is no need to pretend to be perfect. I pray we can all learn to boast in our dependence on the grace of God. I pray we have the boldness to climb down into the dark pit with other broken people and share how Jesus lifted us out of the very same pit. I pray we all develop courage to put our arms around those in the lowest of low points in their lives. I pray for the words and ability to tell them how without Jesus we wouldn’t be here today. I pray for churches to become places where brokenness is allowed. I pray for Christians to see each other and rush to each other with love and a reminder of Jesus being in the middle of the brokenness we so easily recognize.
“Our faith will always have flaws in this life, but God saves us based on Jesus’ perfection, not our own.” ~ John Piper
God Bless you all – Anthony
