It was an addiction. I confess. I cannot hide it any longer. I was a stalker…for years. Allow me to explain.
I was in school in New York City, 20 pounds overweight, and was a proud member of the local gym. Yet really sweating and doing all the exercises made me extremely self-conscious. So instead of working out so much, I watched trainers at my gym like a hawk. I was a “trainer stalker.” Yeah, you know who you are out there! Instead of walking on the treadmill, you circle the gym hoping to catch the latest and coolest weight loss exercise secrets! How do they look like that? What do they know that we don’t? I desperately wanted to be in good shape!
So on a hot summer day when my courage was above normal, I walked up to one of the trainers and blurted out “what is your secret, and can I please have it?” The trainer looked at me and smiled. “I know you…your problem is that you’d rather hang out with “doubt” instead of grasping what you are capable of and going for it. Go look in the mirror, make a decision, and quit riding the fence.” With that, the trainer walked away and I just stood there for a long time. After what seemed like hours, I moseyed over to the gym mirror and finally lifted my eyes up to face myself. I could see myself in two mirrors. I turned to the side mirror and saw the doubt in my eyes. Then slowly I looked in the mirror in front and saw a girl full of hope and courage. I sadly smiled at myself. This side of me knew I was a child of God. Why was I wasting time doubting I could lose the weight instead of saddling up my faith, and going for it?
I’m sure you know those moments in your life. I believe our lives are a made up of these moments – crossroads of choices. I believe that God loves us no matter which path we walk down. Yet I know with all my heart He jumps up and down when we run down the path that honors Him and our bodies. I know that it’s not always easy to go after your fitness goals. But really, what has “doubt” EVER done for you? Doubt steals joy from your life and prevents you from being the amazing person that you already are.
That day I made a choice. I began spending more time in prayer and the Bible, soaking up words of encouragement, instead of filling my thoughts with doubt and self-defeating mantras. These verses began to run through my head…
1) “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”
2) Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
3) The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.”
After persevering and achieving my own fitness goals, I wanted to share these discoveries with other women so that they too could drop their doubt and shape up their self-esteem. I became a NASM personal trainer and have an online personal training ministry that is called Exercise Your Faith. Having positive self-esteem is something that I think we are all called to do. Now, every day I look into the eyes of my clients, and I tell them I believe in them and that they need to leave “doubt” in the dust.
Here are some wonderful ways to take hold of positive self-esteem in your life as you aspire towards your own fitness goals:
- Choose a verse that can replace think negative thoughts during your workout.
- Wear clothes to the gym that make you feel good about yourself!
- Make a fitness goals each week and stick to it! For example do forty-five minutes of cardio three times this week.
- Find a buddy, a class, a personal trainer or a program that will hold you accountable! We need encouragement!
You can do this! He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
