If You Are Going Through Hell…Keep Going

My monthly BLOG post focuses on TACTICAL HUMAN PERFORMANCE TRAINING (physical, mental, spiritual, and social fitness) training for military, law enforcement, and fire/rescue professionals with the idea of being “fit for the fight and life” with mission performance at work and in life as the metric vs. gym numbers as the measuring stick of health. As such, I tie military fitness topics and warrior ethics to anyone looking to learn how to live the warrior lifestyle to include from a Christian faith standpoint. – Chris Reardon, Founder/Executive Director of Freedom Fitness America “Tactical Human Performance for the 21st Century”, Major, US Marine Corps, US Naval Academy Class of 2007

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Winston Churchill

It was almost over. The men and women who had braved one of the toughest athletic endurance events in America were so close to finishing their GoRuck Heavy event after having completed a grueling 24 hours with over 40 miles of hiking with a rucksack stuffed with weights and a water bladder. Other than that, they carried a headlamp, and any gear they thought they might need. They didn’t know the finish line but they were almost certain they had completed the hike because they were so near where they calculated they would be stopping in their minds. They had made it so far in an event where there is a 50% dropout rate…every 1 of 2 participants fails to complete the hike. you might need. Then their instructor cadre informed them that they were to get their packs on and continue hiking. At this point, many participants straight up quit and were like “screw this” and began to head home because they figured they had enough.

However, there were a few brave and committed souls who picked up their pack, shrugged their shoulders and marched on for what they thought would be miles. In the end, the instructors met them about a quarter of a mile down the road and told them they were finished. They passed the test. The instructors just wanted to see who had the mental and spiritual fortitude to keep sucking up pain until they find victory…not when they felt like they have had enough pain.

The story above was recounted to me by a Marine veteran friend of mine Chad Hiser over a zoom call one day with another Marine veteran, Drew Toothman (GySgt, USMC (Ret), an Explosive Ordnance Disposal technician who had served in combat operations in the post 9/11 era. Drew listened to the story and then told us one of his own about a unit of Marines on a training hike. These Marines saw what looked to be their trucks that signaled the end of their grueling hike and relief sitting in the back of a 7-ton vehicle while driving back to their home base. Their Executive Officer however told them to keep going because those trucks weren’t theirs. The Marines challenged him saying, “sir, those look like our trucks.” He said, “no, those aren’t our trucks.” As the Marines pushed past the vehicles which to them was their finish line, many fell out of the hike at this point because they felt they could go no further. After observing this for some time, the Executive Officer stopped the training evolution, gathered the Marines up, and explained to them that indeed the trucks they saw were theirs. However, he had them push past the trucks because he wanted to make a point: the Marines in this unit needed to learn how to keep sucking up pain even past the point they felt was the finish line. In combat, there is often no sign of when relief is in sight and the Marines needed the grit to keep pushing long after they feel they are ready to quit. Their very lives are on the line.

As fellow Marine veterans, we pondered what is it in a man or woman to keep pushing through pain long past when they thought it would be over. We recognized that the issue at stake was not so much one of physical endurance but of mental and spiritual endurance in all reality. When men and women are pushed beyond their limits and are forced to decide to keep going or turn back, what they ultimately choose tells both them and others what they are ultimately made of and is more of a determination of their ability to have victory than any obstacle right in front of them.

In my personal life, I have faced this sense of non-stop pain from an emotional and mental standpoint and I can tell you that many times when I wanted to quit because there was no relief in sight for a long time, the only thing that kept me going was the thought that if I quit, then I am certain I will never achieve what I set out to go for. In the fall of 2021, I was fairly confident that I would get selected for promotion in my Marine Corps career and finally have a sense of being able to take somewhat of a break from pushing as hard as I had been over the past few years, especially with a sprint of a 13-month overseas unaccompanied tour that I had just returned from that summer. To my dismay, I was called up by a 3-star general telling me that unfortunately I was not selected for promotion. This was stunning to me despite my overall solid performance record. I recognized that I had only about five months of time to really showcase my performance on an evaluation that typically would take place over a year in order to give me whatever leg up I had in the next promotion board which based on previous selection statistics went from about a 76% selection rate to 6%. The temptation to throw in the towel and give in at this point was immense. I weighed my options. Not getting selected on the second round meant that I stood a good chance of being involuntarily separated from the Marine Corps before 20-year retirement eligibility with the goal of being able to have healthcare benefits, especially for my wife and 4-year-old son who had a lot of health issues. On top of all this, I was facing my own setbacks at home still needing to maintain social isolation and strict COVID protocols such as masking at work when everybody else was now mask-free because of my wife, son, and father-in-law’s immunocompromised issues. Should I give up on my career dreams and try desperately try to find another line of work in such a short time to continue providing for my family? Or should I buckle down and do everything in my power to at least know I gave it my all for this promotion and if failing in that outcome at least know for the rest of my life I had least given it my all? I continued to ponder my lot in life. At this point in life, I was also having to take a ton of time off from work to watch my son in order to help my wife through various health challenges due to a lack of being able to deal with these due to COVID-19 medical center delays and my extended time away from home. I couldn’t just slave away at work because then my family would also fall apart.

On top of all this, the non-profit ministry I had launched right before COVID started had not taken off like I had expected for many reasons despite my diligent efforts. Funds were dwindling, volunteers, facing their own life challenges were quitting, and I could not seem to get the traction I needed to get the cause off the ground. Both well-meaning and ill-meaning people challenged had their rounds of unwarranted criticism during this season to make matters worse.

Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually I was past my breaking point. I had been on a long…long GoRuck Heavy of life that honestly had been in a series of ups and downs since 2010 but most certainly since 2016 where the storms of life picked up and never really abated with one thing after another. The finish lines that I had imagined in my head were beyond my sight and there was no certainty of relief in sight. My faith was at a crossroads and what I would do next in this season for good or bad would be for keeps and consequential not only for the rest of my life but for my eternity and others. As my mentor, Kurt Parsons, a retired US Navy Officer who had been through Navy Diver, SEAL, and pilot training had once told me, “Christopher, you have one life to live so go big or go home.” I had decided to go big and I wasn’t going home…ever. I would fight to the very end or at least die trying in terms of holding the line in all the areas God had called me to in terms of my family, career, and ministry. In the midst of my garage gym workouts, one of the audio tracks I listened to often was from Winston Churchill’s speech to his nation during World War II where he encouraged his fellow citizens to “never, never, never give up.” I decided I would do the same. Failure might be an option but quitting wasn’t.

You may have heard the term “don’t give up the ship.” This phrase comes from the dying words of the Captain of the USS Chesapeake, James Lawrence, during a naval battle with the British against the HMS Shannon during the War of 1812. Although James would die from his wounds and his ship eventually had to surrender, his words inspired his crew and others in the naval force. In fact, his friend Oliver Hazard Perry had his words written on a large blue battle ensign which flew on Oliver Perry’s ship 3 months later in a victorious engagement over the British in the Battle of Lake Erie. This original flag still hangs in Memorial Hall of the US Naval Academy as an inspiration to Navy and Marine Officers over the years to keep fighting the good fight even when it seems like all is lost and it seems like the best choice is to quit. As was mentioned in the GoRuck challenge, it appeared at first that the challenge would go on forever, but the brave souls who persevered only had a little more to go. They just didn’t know it. Oliver Perry’s men only had 3 more months to wait before they finally found victory against the British and the war outcome tilted eventually in the favor of the US as history tells us. From their initial vantage point though, they didn’t know it. That’s the tricky part of these challenges in our life. We just don’t know when our victory will come…how long will we have to continue holding. Have you ever been there or are you there right now?

How do you keep pushing when your emotions and mind are screaming to you to go home? Here are some of the ways I have learned to do this in my own life to help you find strength in your own battles to keep going and never surrender to the tyranny of dark days:

1. Always Remind Yourself of “Why” You Started in the First Place. Remember what you are fighting for that got you started in the first place. Decide in your heart that no matter what hell or valleys you experience, you will never quit until you finally have victory. Even if you are forced by circumstances beyond your control to change course, remember you are not retreating…only fighting in another direction. The writer of the New Testament book of Hebrews encourages his readers to keep in mind their example as Jesus of Nazareth who endured the shame of the cross for the dream before Him of reconciling man to God and being exalted to the right hand of God forever. He and others who followed the God of the Bible endured much in order to achieve their dreams and achieve victory. We do well to keep them in mind as examples when we are tempted to quit on our dreams as well.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with endurance the race set out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Hebrews 12:1-3 (Berean Standard Bible)

2. Remember how far you have already come. When we are tempted to give up, we often only think of the negative aspect of the pain we have endured and not how far we have come. Quitting will guarantee our suffering has been in vain and we will essentially “throw away” our past efforts. Of course, there are times when life circumstances determine we alter course because we have no other practical choice, but this should be done with the intent of moving forward in life, not giving up on our ultimate why. If you recall my inspiration from Winston Churchill, he encouraged his people when all seemed lost. Europe was now a fortress for Hitler. The French overt government was toppled and the land was occupied. England’s army was forced to retreat at Dunkirk only narrowly missing annihilation by being rescued by citizen mariners across the English Channel. He prepared his people to fight to the very end. He gave the roar of the lionheart in the midst of his people who slowly but surely began to turn the tide when all seemed lost. Recalling also inspiration from the writer of Hebrews who was telling his fellow brothers and sisters in faith to hold the line in spite of the hell they were going through can also inspire us today:

Do not throw away your confidence; it holds a great reward. You need to persevere, so that after you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”

Hebrews 10: 35-36 (Berean Standard Bible)

3. Put one foot in front of the other. Figure out what steps you can continue to sustain indefinitely even if they are painful. Force your brain to focus on what you can do today and what you can reasonably plan for positive future outcomes. If you sense a strong likelihood of a future fight, envision yourself fighting through to ultimate victory. Don’t let yourself dwell on thoughts like “I don’t know how much more I can take.” Instead, tell yourself “I can take this next step….and the next.” I was recently helping my 4-year-old son achieve a relatively difficult obstacle at the playground where he was off the ground and scared of the height. He didn’t know if he could continue to move forward. I told him, “take the next step.” He did. I told him, ok, “take the next step.” He did and this continued all the way until he completed it. I was teaching my son how his dad has gotten through difficulties in life and how he can do the same. Years ago I was given the opportunity to complete the Navy SEAL Confidence Course and I remember being up on the “slide for life” which is an approximately 200-foot rope about 40 feet off the ground. Going back down was significantly scary and out of the question for me but I was also scared of falling too wondering if I would make it to the end. I chose to mentally focus on each pull of my arms while pushing with my leg despite the swinging of the rope and my fear of heights as I lay on top of the rope. I eventually made it to the end not because I focused on the whole obstacle in front of me or the ground beneath but because I kept focusing intently instead on each pull in front of me recognizing I had the strength to do that. Navy SEALS and other high-performing enduring athletes call this “segmentation”. They refuse to focus on the entire race but only on what is immediately in front of them. This way their mind is not overwhelmed. The cliche phrase of eating an elephant one bite at a time holds true. There is a story in the Gospels about Jesus calling his protege Peter out of the boat to “walk on water” towards Him. Peter initially was enthusiastic about this and literally started to “walk on water”, but the tax collector-turned-Gospel writer Matthew tells us that “when Peter saw the wind and the waves he became terrified and began to sink.” (story found in Matthew 14:22-33). I wonder what would have happened if Peter had kept focusing on each step recognizing that he was literally walking where the winds and waves could not stop him as long as focused on each step toward Jesus, he would have made it. Truth is, I’m reminded of this in my own storms of life to do the same. It is easy to judge Peter for getting afraid, but you and I are tempted with the same mindset in our own serious storms of life.

Jesus furthermore encourages his followers to focus on what they have to do in a given day vs. worrying about the future when he says:

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Matthew 6:34 (New International Version)

In the end, remember God had you yesterday, He has you today, and trust He’ll have you tomorrow. Worrying isn’t going to help and by focusing on your next step, you will stay calm and eventually walk right into your victory! This leads me to my next point.

4. Remind yourself of God’s promises, but release the “when” and how. When I look at hardships I have struggled with in the past or that I am currently struggling with, the reality is not that I can’t face the pain of today. I can do that. I may not want to, but I can. When I set out on a journey to accomplish anything I feel God calls me to do, I need to remember the promises He has personally given me or shared in His Word and trust that He is faithful to complete the good work He began in me. At the exact same time, I need to release the “when” and “how” because feeling the need to answer those questions will literally drive me crazy as I imagine it will you as well. So I have to have the mindset that anything I feel God has called me to do will come to pass, but at the same time, I need to accept the reality that since I don’t know when or how, I need to live faithfully in my current circumstances until they change. I need to just keep taking positive steps forward in life or at least sustaining what I know to be right and true in life. Paul of Tarsus who had a vision for what God had called him to do despite many setbacks told those he was mentoring in words that still ring true today the following:

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:12-14

So, whether you are setting out to complete a physically and mentally grueling challenge or you are struggling to stay steadfast in doing good in some area of your life whether it be staying faithful in a difficult marriage, continuing to hold the line in a difficult season of parenting, persevering through a difficult patch in business or ministry, or are struggling through a physical health challenge that won’t seem to end, know that you can make it to the end. Just don’t quit. You will eventually walk into your promised land if you remain faithful.

Land of the Free Because of the Brave,

Chris Reardon

Major, USMC, US Naval Academy Class of 2007

Founder/Executive Director of Freedom Fitness America

“Fit for the Fight and Life”

If you are a military, law enforcement, fire/rescue, or first responder professional or would like to train physically, mentally, and spiritually to have the warrior mindset to achieve victory in the field and in life, then check out Tactical Garage Gym or email me at chris@freedomfitnessamerica.org to learn more!

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