I always thought that Christians were to be strong and able to withstand anything. As I’ve grown in my Christian faith and my relationship with God, I’ve come to realize this isn’t true – at least not like I presumed. Christians fall, backslide and even turn away from their faith in God. How could they do that after they’ve tasted the grace and salvation of God? There are no easy answers. But, I believe that those who experience a self-elected separation from God and then a return to depending on Him can offer an intimate personal insight into our true human nature and our relationship with God.
Coming to the United States in 1984 was an answer to prayer. My brother, my sister and I were finally able to join our parents. A few years later, I joined the U.S. Navy and was deployed to Gaeta, Italy for four years. During that deployment my walk with God was not what it could and should have been. Young and restless, I made wrong and unwise decisions. I was promiscuous and chose to ignore both the inevitable and potential consequences. In 1993 my contract with the U.S. Navy ended and I was honorably discharged. During the exit physical I, like all troops, was required to have a final full physical. The results came and here is where my story begins.
I was afraid — very afraid! I had nowhere to turn and nobody with whom I could talk.
“Noel Frias”, the lieutenant called my name and asked me to come with him to a private consulting room. He was very straight-forward and told me that he had bad news. My heart was pounding. I didn’t know what to expect. The lieutenant said, “Your lab results came back to me and your HIV results are positive”.
Perhaps you can imagine how devastating that would be for you to hear. For me, I was stunned and left speechless. Later, I found myself back in my house so dazed it was as if I had never even left the room. My mind was running feverishly wondering what had happened, how it had happened and why this had happened to me. Sure, according to God I was wonderfully made in his image but my initial reaction was to keep the news from my family and friends. I was afraid they wouldn’t understand and reject me. At this time treatment was very limited and the prognosis for those with HIV forecast a bleak future that would soon arrive. Many individuals who were infected died just a few years after the initial diagnosis. I was afraid — very afraid! I had nowhere to turn and nobody with whom I could talk.
I realized what I had done to myself. I was ashamed and afraid to call upon God. My world had fallen. It became confusing, devastating and unbearable! But I eventually found myself on my knees, crying, praying and asking God for forgiveness. I asked Him to give me understanding on how to deal with the mess I had created. It wasn’t easy rising from that time of prayer. It took faith and dependence on God, what many call determination, to rise from my personal tragedy and follow what God really wanted me to do. For me it took this tragedy to realize that God has a plan for me.
– God is far and distant – God does not hear my prayers and won’t forgive me. In spite of how I felt about my inadequacy before God the Bible revealed to me a simple and encouraging truth, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” – I felt alone, ashamed, and forgotten. The devil continued to discourage me about all the past sins I committed. The enemy kept telling me that I was alone and God didn’t love me anymore. Instead the Bible encourages us, “He is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy”. – I felt dirty. He will forgive us, clean us and forget all our sins through the power of his death and resurrection. – I was afraid to talk with God about anything. My shame stopped me from praying and asking for God’s help until I embraced the Bible verse that says, “Hear my cry, O God, attend unto my prayer.” I realized that God is listening and attentive to us. I just needed to kneel on my knees, be in His presence, ask for forgiveness and seek Him. – We struggle to have peace of mind. Until we fully accept the forgiveness of God, we won’t have peace. “There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked.” But, Jesus died on the cross – for the forgiveness of our sins, that we might have peace and life everlasting.
BEYOND FORGIVNESS – USE TODAY TO BE LIFE TO OTHERS IN MINISTRY AND FITNESS.
Thankfully many years have passed and wide range of great life experiences have marked how God has helped me to move forward. My Christian walk has become stronger and I’ve became active in the local church ministry as a youth leader.
Can churches be open to people with HIV serving God in ministry? Yes! How, by simply following the same process they would with anyone else. My best friend invited me to the church where he and his wife attend regularly. After several months of attending, I went through their leadership training to volunteer and work in the youth department. I got connected with the youth pastor and together we found the plan God had for me.
I praised God that since I was diagnosed with HIV in 1993 there have been no opportunistic complications with my condition. Since then God has placed in my heart to live day-by-day and embrace that His grace is sufficient for my needs.
In 2004 I started training at a local gym. This began my journey to a different lifestyle in staying healthy to battle my health condition. I never considered that becoming a bodybuilder would be a key way for me to be well and thrive. My first National Physique Competition (NPC) Figure and Bodybuilding show was in May of 2004 in the bantam weight (135-145lbs) category. I won my first competition and have competed more since then.
God has placed a passion in my heart to be an example to others; to help them become active physically and stay healthy. I became a personal trainer a Christ-influenced trainer and help a variety of individuals meet their physical goals.
My interest in training others is my personal drive for them not to fall into becoming just the average person but to achieve what God has planed. God has entrusted us with a body to take care and present to God as a living sacrifice to Him. We are to be an example – and what a great way to witness to others when our body is in great shape.
It has been years since I was diagnosed with HIV and God has continually extended my life. God is good all the time and He works in mysterious ways. A Bible verse I cherish is, “I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me.”
God has turned my life’s tragedy into an opportunity for me to serve Him and others. I encourage you to hold God’s hand and don’t let go. He is a loving and forgiving God who has no exclusive respect of any person. God loves everyone regardless of his or her past. He accepts and forgives us unconditionally.
– First things first. The basis of the Christian faith is compassion not judgment. Seriously seek God to personally show love to others. Be deliberate and determined with consistency. – Help your church, gym or organization and your family to develop a thoughtful HIV policy. Educate yourself, add to your knowledge and connect with others. – Discover the many ministries like He Intends Victory and other efforts that help make a positive impact in the lives of those with HIV. Learn simple and practical ways you can serve. Network with others.
Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. God expects us to take care of this body and we will answer to Him one day for everything that we’ve done to it. Take care of your body and do the best that you can to keep it in the very best possible shape. But remember that your spirit and your relationship with God is even more important. Our body is the vessel in which our spirit serves God here on earth. Let nothing separate it from the love of God.
