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Friends, Family, and Fun

By Brad Bloom

Ah, the end of the year holiday season. It stretches from Thanksgiving until after New Years. It promises to be a great time of celebrating with friends, incredible food with family and … well you know, all the things you’ve come to expect from the holidays. That probably includes making plans, busy schedules, rushing around, stressful moments and ultimately wondering if it’s worth it all. Having fun with family and friends is indeed worth special effort. AND – if you can do it right, right now, there is a better likelihood that you’ll be able to make the good times with those who are important to you a greater priority throughout the rest of the year.
Set you holiday expectations now. When you exercise you learn how to avoid common pitfalls that lead to guaranteed injury. Apply that same mentality to building a healthy holiday season. When you exercise using proper form you set yourself up for success. That truth works for physical fitness, let it work for your relationships too.
Everything has to go just as planned.
In our physical training we know that we set goals but we don’t always achieve them. Let that be true in all you do during the holidays. Why do people get disappointed with irrational diet goals like losing 15 pounds before the holidays? It is because such a goal is often not realistic. Even if it is, the effort to achieve the goal is more of a quick response rather than a thoughtful lifestyle. Instead, allow yourself room to discover what you really can do over the long term. By all means, make plans – they give intentional direction to your vision. Remember that plans are by nature shapeable. They are the flexible material for building end results. Focus beyond the plans. Focus beyond the end results. Focus instead on being in the center of God’s will. That is a very focused target that by grace gives you incredible room for surprises.
I love surprises.
The same goes for your holiday activities and plans. What is the real goal? Is it to execute everything on your agenda regardless of the pain it causes to you and others? Is to make sure everyone and everything fits within your expectations. Don’t just permit or tolerate changes but welcome them. Having a gentle spirit is the best way to keep things peaceful. Gentleness is openness to others and to change. Keep your eye focused on the real prize. Embrace the holidays as a time for closer relationships with others. Accept who is really in control – God not you.
Give and receive, yin and yang, love and be loved… I’d better get out of this as much as I put in.
Those who play sports or do bodybuilding so that they can gain the acceptance and admiration of others are always more disappointed than those who do it simply because it is the right thing to do — something they WANT to do. Many children participate in a sport because their parent pushes them to do it. However, the most successful children are the ones that truly enjoy playing the sport and do it with no thought of obligation to make someone happy. Are your investments in physical fitness based on intrinsic values or short-term responses you hope to get from others? If you want immediate results and gratification you can pretty much expect them to fade quickly. Treasures that last often don’t reveal their full beauty immediately.
God’s giving us this time together – I’ll tune into that alone.
If you’re looking from others for a quick “thank you”, rush of excitement, expression of elation or some other exchange of equal or greater value during the holidays you’ll have received your full reward right then and there. Face it the only kind of love that really works is the kind defined by God. Give expecting nothing in return. Love even those who don’t love you back. To discover the value in something means you see it’s worth through a clear lens not a filter of what you want it to be or need it to be. Love your friends and family simply because they are lovely in God’s eyes.
Bigger is better.
If you’ve ever found yourself “totally doing it the wrong way” on an elaborate and complicated exercise machine at the gym then you know why some people only train with free weights. Keeping things simple not only is faster, easier and often more fun but it often yields the best results too. The more you do, the more exotic and the more you spend doesn’t translate into the best experience. Seek balance for an evenly toned experience.
Keep it simple.
For the holidays that means you don’t have to buy the most expensive, provide non-stop entertainment, go forever, outdo, and constantly be happy. If you and your friends are addicted to looking great, abundance of food, doing more and continually feeding your lust for life then you probably suffer from being a lifestyle junkie.
When you keep it simple you’ll free up more time to enjoy times with others. You’ll spend less effort doing things that don’t really matter and have more opportunities to really connect.
The experts know what is best.
Thank goodness doctors, personal trainers, pastors and others who provide care to us know that no two people are the same. On television almost daily you can see someone offer advice that contradicts the advice that someone else recently gave. Low carb or low fat… what really works best? The truth is you have to seek and find the best diet for your body.
Customize for your unique needs.
When it comes to creating great times for your friends and family you need to consider their needs and interests and then lay the groundwork for a custom holiday. Thanksgiving dinner doesn’t have to be prepared by Martha Stewart. Christmas entertainment doesn’t have to include a visit to a church choir performance. You don’t have to celebrate New Year’s on Times Square. Think of your group and then take it one step further to think of the individuals within your group. You can create your own traditions and also do something totally new. Realize that you, your family and your friends are each uniquely created by God. Tap into those unique qualities and you’ll have holidays that are genuine and fun.
Just do it.
Perhaps you’ve seen a coach barking orders while totally ignoring the questions and ideas of his players. It is usually not a winning situation. They may go through an entire season – an entire losing season focused on a strategy they know will work when everyone can see it is a perfect set-up for failure.
A personal trainer that knows the science and technique of physical development all too well can drive a training program forward while ignoring signs that call for change or slower progress.
An individual can exercise thinking they know what is best for them. They can push and push until they get injured and still not see results.
“Just do it” may be based on solid resolve and a determination to make things happen. If you don’t pay attention though, you’re doing it all wrong.
Listen well and communicate clearly.
To have fun with your family and friends during the festive season you have to listen closely when you communicate. We have more technology to communicate than ever before like e-mail, text messages, phones and so much more. Yet we often fail to clearly hear those who are closest to us. Instead we just do what we think we’re supposed to do. In physical fitness those that pay extremely close attention to their body’s signals hear far more than those who just exercise. Being attentive during exercise makes for a great workout. Being attentive during the holidays makes for shared times that nurture relationships.
Ideas for fun with family and friends. Pick a few to do during the holidays.
Save some parts of the big meals to prepare together. Maybe it is simply mixing the ingredients for the salad just before you eat.
Give a massage to a spouse, a parent or a friend. It is a wonderful way to have close contact, create singular focus, talk and care for someone else.
Get active and play. Inside or out in a public gym or in the privacy of a home plan some options that give everyone the chance to get active, forget about their inhibitions, and simply have fun being together. It might be an indoor pool party, sledding in the snow, walking the city streets, or exploring a cave.

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