So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36 (NIV)
I celebrated 54 trips around the sun yesterday. Nearly forty of those years were spent worrying about my weight, struggling with anxiety and insecurity, and just being uncomfortable in my own skin.
I was raised in a Christian home and accepted Jesus as my Savior before I was out of elementary school. But I was shy and introverted. My mom had always struggled with her weight. So, in an attempt to prevent me from those same struggles, she planted seeds that led me to becoming very focused on my weight. I started worrying about the number on the scale before it was ever a problem. In full transparency, the number on the scale never has been a problem. I’ve been average size my entire life. But you could never convince my mind of this. I lived uncomfortable in my skin well into adulthood.
More than any amount of weight loss or acceptance by my peers, I craved freedom. During all of my years of worrying about, watching, and obsessing over my weight, I knew there had to be a better way. Surely, I could live a healthy life without being consumed by it. I mostly wanted to be free!
It took years. It took the Lord’s lovingkindness toward me and His patience with me as I came to terms with my role in this ongoing bondage—the sin of pride and of making my weight an idol in my life. But when I, like the Israelites in the desert, finally obeyed God by turning north (see Deuteronomy 2:3), I took the first step onto my path of living fit and free.
That was nearly fifteen years ago. Every day I must be intentional about continuing on that path of freedom. I must stay close to the Lord and follow His leading.
Over the years, the Lord taught me how to live fit and free. What exactly is living fit and free? It means you've found a way to live that is healthy and supports your current age and stage of life without being bound by the number on a scale, a diet plan or program, or obsessive thinking.
Because of my discomfort with my body, I constantly pursued health and fitness. Too often, it was in the form of diets or the latest weight loss trend whether that was a plan, program, or pill. I was "fit," but I wasn't free. I might've looked healthy and might have led a healthy lifestyle — exercising regularly, eating nutritious foods — but I wasn't free. I was tied to counting macros and logging my exercise, weighing in every day and white-knuckling my way through the week while constantly thinking about my weight and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.
No one gets to choose what "fit" means for you. You can't look at a person to determine their health - spiritual, physical, or mental. Only you know how you feel - your energy level, the state of your mind, the condition of your spirit. You must listen to your body and honor it to find your healthy, to find your fit.
Once you do that, the freedom part becomes a lot easier. You're free from outside noise. Free from outside influence. Free from self-imposed guilt and shame and rules. And you're free to live the life God has designed for you to live right here right now at this age and stage of life.
Living fit and free is a choice. And I had to choose that. I had to embrace a new uncomfortable because living fit and free isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. The peace that comes with it is greater than any amount of weight loss. And the beautiful thing is that it is possible to live a healthy life without being bound by all the negative things that are intended to spur us to action. Things like numbers, guilt, shame, social media influence, etc. But when we keep our eyes on Jesus, we can get on track and stay on track—on track to freedom and on track with healthy living.
As I begin a new trip around the sun, I recognize the blessings that God has bestowed upon me. Those years of living in the desert were uncomfortable but they ultimately drew me closer to the Lord and into His blessed freedom. Sometimes taking a stand against society’s definition of fit and healthy isn’t a comfortable task. But we’re not always called to do the easy thing. Remember that shy girl growing up that I told you about? Well, the same girl has been tasked by the Lord to help other women grasp onto their freedom. Let’s change the narrative for women our age and the ones to follow. It’s a privilege to live another year and to be free to embrace it.
Action Step
Living fit and free requires you to stay present and notice not only your habits but your thoughts as well. It takes commitment and intention. And the reward is being able to embrace your age and stage of life. Will you choose freedom and find your fit?
I just released my latest devotional 31 Days of Faith and Fitness: How to Live Fit and Free. The 31 devotions will help you recognize and let go of the lies, habits, and mindsets that keep you from living in the freedom Christ desires for you. With Scripture to guide you each day, practical action steps to encourage healthy living, and something to let go of, you'll learn to live fit and free—one day at a time.